After Third Impact
write a script for an snl weekend update skit starring shinji and asuka, where the third impact has just happened and they're telling jokes about what happened to their friends at nerv. the guest segment should be pen pen (who does not speak) pretending to be gendo
Weekend Update with Shinji and Asuka
Shinji: Hi and welcome to Weekend Update. I'm Shinji.
Asuka: And I'm Asuka.
Shinji: As you may have heard, we recently experienced the Third Impact, where humanity was nearly wiped out.
Asuka: It was a dark and terrible time for us and our friends at NERV. Many of us were forced to confront our deepest fears and insecurities.
Shinji: But we've managed to find some humor in the situation. For example, have you heard the one about the time Misato tried to hug an Angel?
Asuka: It's not a joke, Shinji. That actually happened.
Shinji: Oh, right. Well, in that case, have you heard the one about the time we had to pilot giant robots to save the world?
Asuka: Again, not a joke. That also happened.
Shinji: Okay, okay. How about this one: Why did the robot cross the road?
Asuka: I don't know, why?
Shinji: To get away from NERV!
Asuka: [chuckles] I suppose that one is a bit funny.
Shinji: [smirks] And speaking of NERV, we have a special guest with us today. Please welcome Pen Pen, pretending to be Gendo!
[Pen Pen appears on screen, waddling around in a suit and glasses]
Shinji: [nervously] Uh, hi Pen Pen. I mean, Gendo. So, what's new at NERV?
Pen Pen: [silently waddles around, pretending to be Gendo]
Asuka: [sarcastically] Oh, wow. Gendo is really bringing his A-game today.
Shinji: [nervously] Yeah, I don't think Gendo is going to say anything.
Asuka: [sarcastically] Yeah, because he's too busy waddling around like a penguin.
Shinji: [nervously] Uh, right. Well, thank you for joining us, Pen Pen. I mean, Gendo.
Pen Pen: [silently waddles off screen]
Asuka: [sarcastically] Thanks for coming, Gendo. It's been a real treat.
Shinji: [nervously] Yeah, thanks. It was... interesting.
Asuka: [sarcastically] Yeah, I'm sure we'll all be talking about this for weeks.
Shinji: [nervously] Uh, right. Anyway, that's all the time we have for today. Thanks for watching Weekend Update.
Asuka: [smirks] Yeah, thanks for joining us. And remember, just because the world is ending, doesn't mean we can't have a little fun.